Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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