he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
