I like to think it a success when the cops are called
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
