I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
