Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize