I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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