i barfeds in our rink
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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