When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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