Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize