sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
