The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
