escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
