dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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