Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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