Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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