Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just googled if crying burns calories
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize