so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
