Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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