Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
