i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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