Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
