Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
