fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
