There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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