it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
