her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
