I have demons in me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
