I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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