Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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