Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
