It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
