Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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