I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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