party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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