pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
