Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize