Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
