I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
