I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's like a pop up book from hell.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
