sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Operation Purity has been aborted
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
