community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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