Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
