she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
