so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
