biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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