Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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