yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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