How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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