just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
