Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
