I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
