They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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