$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
