omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize