So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
