NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
