capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
