I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
