she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
