Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
