Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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