wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
