we're blogging at a bar
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
