I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
