Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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