I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i out mim tonsoeep
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