i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize