2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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