did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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