Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
