I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize