What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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