just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
