I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
