Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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